Autumn – Essay


[expressing myself through words and sounds]

See that cloud? It is said it’s the base of angel’s tears. They are captive in that cloud and only allowed to cry in there. This is not a regular rain. It’s a sanctified shower because of the angel’s pain, they mourn their hidden desires for freedom.

You realized that the raindrops feel lighter, warmer when they touch your skin. Told you, this would be a benefit for both of us.

You, lying next to me, singing, accompanied by the sounds that these shady crows share with us. Look at them. So beautiful, even if they really resemble to Death’s minions. I can see that they bring impure spirits with them, a lethal cold fog and a dead silence.

But still, without a sun to warm us up, we still can lie into each other’s arms. You kissing me gently, me cleaning up the sad leaves from your golden hair. You looking through me like through a crystal clear window, me watching over your sensibility. I raise my head exactly when a diamond skeleton shows up. Surrounded by a dark aerial entity or some sort of magical spiritual barrier he brings us the eternal joy of pain.

With a twisted move of its body he creates a portal, like a looking glass – where our future, past and the in-existent present are combined. You gently raise up and enter this portal – knowing that we will never cross paths again. Did you hear me??? Never cross paths again…

The portal is now closed. The skeleton dissipated and instead of it, the dark spirit that accompanied it is floating restlessly in front of me. Pure melody coming out of nowhere, pure melody of my solitude.

It’s autumn, that’s why the leaves fall. It’s autumn, that’s why I lost you…

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